Valentines Day 2014

February has came and is almost about to take its exit for the year! I can't believe it! I really, really love the month of February. Maybe because of its simplicity. It comes, it stays for just a little while, and then it leaves. Some people dread it, but I actually enjoy it. Maybe because I am a lover of love, therefore, Valentines Day has always been one of my favorite holidays--from my elementary schools days up until now.

So this makes my second Valentines Day that I spent being single since forever. Now that I think about it, I have ALWAYS had some little boyfriend around this time of year. I couldn't even begin to tell you a year that I did not have a valentine. BUT, last year marked my first year to remember. I was living on campus last year and Valentines Day fell on a weekday, therefore, I couldn't just run home to spend the day with my family. I had no boyfriend, no boo on the side, nothing. Not even a roommate to feel all "what we need a man for?" and then go do something crazy together. I wasfor real  alone! However, I decided tha I was not going to be a scrooge and an "anti-valentist" that day..even though I probably had every reason to.

That day, I got up, I put on some cute clothes, I did my hair, and I spent extra time on doing my make up..and guess what? I went on about my day with the biggest smile on my face! There were no plans made, not friends to meet up with, no little boyfriend I could call up and have a movie night with or anything...just me, myself, and I. But for some reason, I was OKAY with it! I was happy. I was content. My mom ended up calling me that day and told me that she put some extra money in my bank account for me to go and get a nice lunch off campus somewhere that day because I was going to spend my first V-DAY away from her. So, I did just that. After classes, I took my happy-go-lucky, dolled up self to FAZOLIS and I ate ALONE! & let me tell you, I had the best time ever. Knowing that I could conquer eating and being alone! From that moment on, I had no desire to always feel to be with someone. I had finally reached a point in being CONTENT with the season God had me placed in that moment.

So, this Valentines Day rolled around, and again...I was single! However, still happy as can be! Being inspired from last year, I decided again to wake up, get dressed up, curl my hair, do my make up and make plans to have lunch somewhere by myself. However, this time I decided to do something different. I decided to bring a special guest along with me...JESUS! Thats right! I invited Him to come along and be my date to lunch for Valentines Day. So I grabbed my bible and journal and we went to O'Charley's for lunch. There I sat down, ordered food and read my bible and and wrote in my journal for the remaining of our time there. Looking around seeing all the cute couples eating together that day made my heart smile. I was so happy to see love amongst other people!

I do not know what next Valentines Day holds, but I promised my self that no matter what...single, in a relationship, or married..I will continue to take Jesus on a date with me for Valentines Day. He has given me the best gift of love yet, and I will no longer take it for granted.

Sister, learn to first be content in Him and Him alone...

Lots of Hugs & Love, 

Confessions of a Perfectly Imperfect Jasmine Dillard.

CAUTION: This post is LONG. I recommend to grab a seat and coffee before you begin. Maybe a few tissues too.

About two years or so ago, I went out to eat with a friend from school after church for the first time, and as we sat down, all she could say was "I can not believe I am actually having lunch with Jasmine Dillard. I never would have guessed." Completely thrown off at the comment and her in awe of me, I smiled back in a tickled confusion and quickly changed the conversation.   

So a week ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table of one of my friend's house for the first time. As we sat down planning for some events for Aspire 31 and enjoying eachother's company, all of a sudden, she stopped and said "You know what, I can not believe you are sitting in my house. I never would have thought that we would ever be doing this together." For a moment, I was thrown off by what she said and then smiled back with a little tickle and said "Aww, why do say that girl?" and she replied "Oh I dont know. I just used to see you at church all the time and think that you're so pretty and perfect and stuff. I never would have thought we would really become close like we are now." I immediately replied back "Perfect? HAHAH, girl you must have me mixed up with someone else. If you only knew what I go through."

I am so blown away at how other people "think" I have it all together while I am sitting here looking at the same Jasmine in the mirror, not exactly a fan my own self.

Can it be honest hour real quick?
I mean, can I really just be totally real with you all?
I need to vent. I need to confess. But most of all I need to be healed.  I know you may be thrown off a little bit, or prayerfully, you're glued to my words because our hearts just locked. Perhaps you may just be in the same exact situation that I am & you are looking for at least ONE person to relate with. Maybe your heart will be at ease just a bit.

Well sister, I can be that one person and hopefully you can be mine. Let me reassure you that you are NOT alone. Please join in with me as I take off the mask for once and just give you The Jasmine that I have to go home to and deal with on a daily basis when no one else is around. The Jasmine that I have to fight with each day. The Jasmine that I struggle with constantly. The Jasmine that I sometimes do not like.

See sister, just because you can not see it does not mean that it does not exist. No matter how much we give ourselves to someone, no one really knows who we really are and what we deal with under the mask. No I am not fake what so ever or living a double life (anymore), I just choose what I allow others to see of me. You know, "the good parts" the parts in my life that are "show worthy" while I sweep the messy parts in my purse and hide it in the closet for no one to find. Once I find a way to fix these issues, then I'll let the world see them. But until then, they'll be locked away and hidden.

Well girl, let me tell you what that junk filled purse really is: YOUR HEART. The pockets in tha purse are the DEPTHS of it. And all that mess you are throwing, shoving, and squishing in there are INSECURITIES, IMPERFECTIONS, HURT, SHAME, but most of all that UGLY, UGLY SIN that you are afraid to let anyone know or even more.. confess to it. I have it. You have it. We have it. & No matter how much we want to admit to it, it IS there and it is starting to weigh SO heavy on us.

& I AM TIRED OF IT! I am SO sick and tired of that darn bag getting in the way of who I am. So today, RIGHT NOW, I am going to be the first one to open up my secret closet, lug that bag out, and I'm going to do something that I have been so afraid of doing for so long. I'm opening up that bag and  I am going to take all of that junk out and deal with it. I'm going to allow Christ's light to shine upon it and get rid of it ONCE AND FOR ALL. & Hopefully, by the time this blog is over, you will be encouraged to join in with me and do the same sister.
 
So I want you all to know that as I sit here typing this to you, I am without makeup, no jewelry, fancy clothes, and definitely no judgmental attitude. I am behind the scene giving you the Jasmine without all the get up. My bible is open, my worship music is playing, my journal is filled with tears and confessions, and I am ready to dig into the depths of my heart to confess the struggles that I am dealing with. God has reveled to me that it is this bag full of mess that is causing me to be held at a standstill. And until I recognize and acknowledge these things and give them all to Him, I will not move to the next level that He is trying to take me. I must realize that I am NOT perfect. I have issues and I can not bypass them. I have to allow Christ's light shine on these oh so dark places and call them out! Confess that they are there, they are wrong, and I NEED help. I need JESUS to take the wheel.

Here is the flesh of Jasmine that is at constant battle with the Holy Spirit. The Jasmine that I can NOT stand. The Jasmine that I am ashamed of. & The Jasmine that has been HOLDING me in bondage for so many years. The Jasmine that I have tell "SHUT UP AND SUBMIT TO THE LORD" on a regular. & Most of all, the JASMINE that I have to DENY and DIE TO in order for me to effectively pick up my cross and continue to walk my journey in CHRIST.

1. I am prideful. - Even though I do not intentionally mean to, self gets in the way of so many things in my life. Deep down, I feel that I deserve to have the stuff I have. I deserve to have God's favor. & It's "my" actions that have allowed me to achieve so many things that I have. This pride DISGUSTS me on a regular. I hate it so much.

2. I am judgmental. - Deep down, I judge the actions of others. Again, not intentionally, but it just happens. I try to call out the bad in others just to justify my own wrong doings. I tend to be "pointing the finger" Way, Way too much. Instead of loving them unconditionally. Instead of getting the speck out of my own eye first, I tend to be the one to help fix the eye of the other person.

3. I am jealous. - This is so sad, but sometimes, if it is not me in control, I do not want it to be someone else. I guess being so used to being the "successful girl" I kind of grown to thinking that I should be the one who is always being recognized. & If it is someone else, I'm always trying to question why? I will sometimes go out of my way to justify all the wrong in someone in order to help me deal with my insecurities. I HATE this aspect to. UGH :-(

4. I am not excellent in all areas. - Behind the scenes, I'm horrible with procrastination. I tend to wait to the last minute to get EVERYTHING done. Even my ministry, I have not prepared it the way I know I need to. I've been working on all of this though.

5. I lust. - Now, this isn't a sexual kind of lust anymore. Thankfully, God delivered me from that!! But now it's like a "husband lust." Even though I am very happy with being single, I still have been on a marriage frenzy lately. Like, I keep wondering who my husband will be and its gotten so bad that it seems like every guy I see, I automatically think "Oh is he it?" and then try to picture ourselves together. It's crazy. & even worse, if the guy doesn't notice me...I take it personal. I just want to be able to look at a guy and see or expect nothing else more from it. I want to be free from looking at every guy I see until God presents me with the ONE that way I know he is from God and God alone. I think it is safe to say that I want to be numb from guys for a while so I am able to fully focus on GOD.

6. I gossip. - Now, I do NOT spread lies about people. That is one thing that I do NOT do and never had the heart to do so. However, I just would find myself engaging in conversations complaining about what someone else is doing and how wrong I think they are for doing so. I want to be able to engage in conversations that are uplifting and encouraging, PURE, and Christ like. I want to be able to control my tongue and the things that I say.

7. I am lazy. - This is more of a spiritual laziness. I tend to not put my ALL into my relationship with God as far as spending time with Him, really seeking Him, and praying steadfastly.

8. I am selfish. - Sometimes, I just rather do things for myself and by myself. Just because I do not trust people and more so..I do not trust people to help me. Therefore, I tend to make things about what I want, what I need, and what will best help me. I've really been convicted with this as I lead my ministry. Its been a real struggle for me to share my thoughts and my ideas for someone else to carry out. I have to learn how to be helped and assisted. I can NOT do everything alone. I must learn how to depend on others.

9. I am hateful. - Well, hateful is such a strong word. I do not hate anyone. But, there are some people that bother me and irritate the mess out of me. So I'm working on not being mean on the inside towards them or even avoiding them.

10. I doubt and question God. - This is personal. There are so many times I wished that I wasn't so smart so I could simply stop trying to figure God out. I guess being someone who has the ability to think things out..my mind tends to overthink ALOT. So there have been many times the Devil would play with my mind and try to question who God is and figure His existence out. Simply put, I had to learn to submit my mind to The Lord and allow Him to strengthen my faith and have it outweigh my knowledge.

11. I do not pray like I should. - Prayer is so vital. And I've been trying to get by with just surface based prayers. I must pray NOW like never before. And not only praying for myself but others. I'm always somewhere complaining to God but I neglect to pray for those in need. SAD! I can not let a day go by without communing with God. I value prayer and I want to learn how to develop a deep and fervent prayer life with God.

12. I do not submit and listen to God like I should. - Geez. If I could only number the many times God has told me to do something and I OPENLY disobeyed. I'm learning to come to God FIRST and submit my WHOLE self to Him and allow HIS plan to override mine. But most importantly, I'm learning how to LISTEN for His voice. I used to pray without listening and it overwhelmed me so, so, so much.

13. Instead of asking God for direction, I often times make a decision for myself and then ask for God's advice afterwards.- Yeah, so many times this has happened. Whenever I would ask my parents for advice about a situation the number one answer I did not want to hear was "Pray and ask God" I guess because I never knew how to discern God's voice. So I obviously believed He did not want to talk to me or was allowing me the opportunity to make the decision based on what I THOUGHT was right or what I WANTED to do. Yeah, so very ignorant.  I know.

Well, I believed I reached the bottom of my purse and now all of this is out on the table being examined by The Lord. Now I truly believe that God is taking me by the hand and walking me through each and every one of these one by one and TEACHING me how to overcome these areas. God is letting me and you know that He is ABLE to deliver us from these messy situations and He desperately wants us to get rid of these areas so we are able to walk into the plan He has written for each and everyone of us from the very beginning of time--WITH NOT RESTRAINTS! These things must be dealt with sis, they must be exposed, confessed, and forgiven in order for them to be gone FOREVER. If not, you will eventually run out of room in that little bag and everything will start to spill over and run into the "good parts" that we allow people to see. Sin can not be hidden forever. Sin is meant to be confessed and nailed to the cross for JESUS's blood to cover. & the beautiful thing about the cross is that is STILL works. His salvation is still available. His forgiveness is still REAL. and His GRACE & MERCY is still a gift given to us NEW each and every day. However, it is all up to you to decide when you are finally going to open up that closet, lug out that bag, and dig up any and everything that has been holding your true freedom in Christ hostage for so long!

I'm going to end this post with a snippet of a journal entry I wrote this morning as I was talking and worshiping God for delivering me from these issues! See, I started writing this post last night as God and I were digging up my mess and I never felt SO Free afterwards. I was able to sleep in PEACE and I was able to wake up this morning SO JOYFUL and THANKFUL because I felt the heaviest load lifted off of me. So I was in worship mode the whole morning and ended up writing a four page prayer to God:

"...& finally I can nail all of these things to the cross. His blood covers them all! Lord thank you for not giving up on me! Lord thank you for keeping me. I am so humbled right now because I have been so selfish, critical, judgmental, prideful, everything! Bounded for years Lord. Deeply scared and bruised. Doubting you and not believing and trusting in you completely. Judging people. Talking about people. Jealous. & not committing myself to you. I had many wrong motives behind many things that I did. But Lord, you searched my heart and you found YOU within it. You found the little girl who you originally created before sin had its way. You saw my dreams and desires. You saw my good motives. You saw my insecurities. You saw your beautiful creation, purpose, and plan buried deep under all of my mess. You saw who I really was and you saved your little girl who desperately needed a savior to help her come back alive. You saw greatness and yo saw a masterpiece. You aw my life and how much glory it could bring to you your name. You gave me your son--You gave me KING JESUS! and he carried me in his arms back to you. He covered me in His Love, mercy, and grace. He brought me back to my daddy and He promised to always keep me protected. & here I am today, completely open to you, wanting and desiring your help and your love to overwhelm me.." 

Sister, I love you and I am praying that you will join in me and take back everything the enemy stole from you! You deserve it! I deserve it! We deserve it! Never be afraid to deal with the REAL you, no matter how ugly, screwed up, messed up you are on the inside. JESUS is the ANSWER! Now go forth, clean out that purse and go embrace the life God has intended for you to live! Be free.
             
               Here's a picture of an imperfect girl who has been saved by the love of a perfect God.

extra hugs & love for you today, 

DIY Spiritual Journal

Hello love!

So, tonight I wanted to share with you all something that I've been trying to research for EVER! ---A Spiritual Journal that best suits me and my routine for bible studying!

I dont know about you, but I am totally obsessed with journals & notebooks. Like, I have zillions and I still continue to buy them whenever I see them at a store! But, my problem is I never complete them. I always have BIG plans for what I want to use my journal for, and I stick with it, for a while, but then I lose focus because all of my notes get mixed up. For example, I may be writing out prayers on a few pages, then Im jotting down sermon notes on the next, trying to write down key points from the current book that I'm reading, and so forth. Then finally I just get frustrated because everything is scattered and my OCD-ness just can not handle a scattery journal. So I ditch it. Well, more like put it in the closet with the rest of them in hopes of trying again with a new fresh journal.

So then my next solution to the problem was just to have everything is seperate notebooks; like, one for prayers, one for bible study, one for book notes, and so on. BUT that didnt work either because I would get confused on which journal was which and then I would grab the wrong one on the way to church and it just wasnt like BLAH. So I gave up for a while and simply asked God what could I do to really bring focus and order to my spiritual writing life. & guess what?!

He answered!
& Of course He spoke to me through my creative mind, and gave me a mental picture of what to do.
How awesome is He?

& thats exactly what I did. I created a journal that best fit MY study routine while keeping order and focus within my journal. I'm so excited to share it with you, because I'm hoping that this will help whoever is in need of trying to find the "right" journal for her new and improved spiritual relationship.

Here's a closer look at what I did..

NOTE: Everything that I bought was from Wal-Mart; which is the only super store in my hometown. Target is in a different city about 30 minutes away, but who has time for that in this super cold weather LOL.

I decided to go with a journal style that I've previously used before which is a big, hard back journal that is in the style of a book like type. It's called a "Planahead Journal" and you can find it in your journal/stationary/school supply aisle at Wal-Mart. I really like these because they're CUTE, BIG, & DURABLE! Plus they're college ruled, which is my preference. Wide Rule creeps me out for some reason. I just cant. These journals cost about 10.00 & they come in different colors and patterns. 

 Here is what the inside pages look like just in case you're wondering. How cute are those big flowers?

 So next are the key items that really helped to design my journal; these divider clips. I used these to divide my sections in my journal. I chose these clips because I can move them where ever I want in my journal and I can write what ever I decide I want a section to be. Plus they give you 24 in a pack, so if I decide to change my mind on a title or if one gets damaged, I can easily replace them. They were about $2.50.

 I love how they came in a plastic holder so that I can just sit them up on my desk for easy convenience. 

 And finally, I bought my FAVORITE PENS to write with---SHARPIE PENS! They write just like the marker, however, they're ultra fine point and they do not bleed through. They also come in medium, which write a little bit thicker. I have both, but I prefer to write with the fine point and draw with the medium point. But hey, that's just me. They cost around $4.00.

So after deciding on my divider sections, I wrote each one on its own separate clip and then divided up my journal pages for each section. I decided to go with sections for:

-Prayers

I like to write out my prayers a lot of the times. 

-Devotions

This section is for when I do bible study on my own time

-Book Study

Notes from whatever book I'm reading at the time.

-Sermons, Sunday School, & Bible Study

This is my church note section.

-Ideas

Just a section for ideas that God gives me throughout the day for me to do.

 & Here is the first page of my 2014 Journal. It's not much yet, but over the year I hope to fill this page up with goals, quotes, and anything else I can write down to remind my of my focus area for the year! Speaking of goals, I'm really thinking about revamping the ones I previously made for this year LOL. That is why I did not go ahead and write them down yet. Another post on that later..

I left a few pages in the front blank for my "personal" section. I just kind of want to leave room for me to write about things I can use for a keep sake of everything that happened this year. I want to be able to look back through this journal in the future and see what all this year brought for me! I started my second personal page for "important dates and events that happened this year" just so I can keep a record of everything that happened that I felt was a gift from God. Like I said, I'm really pushing towards being more intentional with everything in my life this year.

So I think that wraps up everything on my new(est) journal. I REALLY believe that this time will be a success and I am really hoping to be able to complete this journal from beginning to end! Hopefully if this method works, I will do one each year! 

I'm SO excited about what God is doing in my life. He is really correcting me and guiding me on the right track as far as "getting my life right." This year is really going to be the first year of the best years of the rest of my life! I already can feel it!

lots of hugs & love,

2014 & I, So Far..

Hey, Girl, Haaaay!

So lets be honest real quick, 

I thought being a blogger was going to be cake since I love to write and I love to post pictures.

Wrong!

Its so much easier to do this on InstaGram.

I kinda feel like, I always have something interesting to post on IG, but then when it comes to a new blog post, my confidence hits rock bottom. 

#babybloggerprobs

But anywho. I agree that my life is AWESOME, whether if I'm the only gal on the planet who thinks so or not. God & I enjoy my life all day; errrrrrday, so with that being said, 

I think I have plenty to blog about.

So back on track. 

eh-hum.

I must say that I am really enjoying myself in 2014. Its so refreshing than all the other years, ya know? Maybe because I'm actually CHOOSING to find something enjoyable about each day rather than making myself find something wrong. I'm actually loving and enjoying every day life. 

Ding. I think that was a goal in one of my target areas for this year.

Score.

So the past few days have been great. okay, extremely great. 

I really feel that I'm putting myself to use this year and I love it. 

Uh-Oh, did I just hit another goal?

Score numero dos. #holla

hahah, okay so yeah, like I was saying. I've been keeping myself busy while still balancing my "me" time that I value. I must admit, I'm a homebody. I love home, I love family, and I love being in my own space. However, since I'm a ministry leader now, I'm really starting to learn how to share my space. Its hard. But, I'm being used by God, so I'm learning.

  So now, I'm going to let my pictures take over...

Aspire 31 kicked off the year with our first meeting of 2014.
Our topic was "The Importance ofGoal Setting"

This was me talking to them about setting standards and goals for ourselves as young women of this ministry. Never in a million years did I think I would be in this position. Wow, God!

 "Changing Forward" is our Church's Vision for 2014. & Those are the goals that the girls want to see happen during this year in our ministry!

 I had the girls come up with expectations for themselves as a lady of "Aspire 31". Each one came and signed it as a part of accountability!

& here are the girls' expectations of me as their leader. I signed to show my promise and to hold myself accountable. They are so sweet.

 & last for the night, here's a picture of the girls making their 2014 vision boards for themselves! I've rececently fell in love with the idea of making vision boards from two of my friends. I think I'm going to make one every year.

Speaking of vision boards...

Here is one of my girls' vision boards. Zaria! How awesome is this?
___________

Meanwhile, in my own time..

I've been doing a little DIY crafting myself!

I made my own vision board because I promised the girls to "practice what I preach" I had SOOO much fun making this. I want to make like 10 more haha. I'm going to post a seperate blog about how I made this and how important it is to have visions for yourself!

Like I was saying, I've been very busy these days. So I invested in my very first wall calender. I always thought important busy-like people used these.
I guess I'm an important busy-like person now.
score.

Im a sucker for planners. I already had one, but I thought this was cuter and more motivating.
So I bought it and been putting it to use. I love the bullet point list style set up.

 Ive been working out! & Going pretty strong with it!
I think that's another goal I just knocked out.
My best friend's brother is a professional trainer and he has been designing workouts just for me and sends them to me weekly. I've been doing pretty good as a "traniee" I feel more motivated now that I have an actual plan.
Am I winning or what? geesh haha.

Here is my sister, Tori & I taking gym selfies. She's so much fun to work out with.

& I've finally learned to LOVE this drink. I consume NO greens at all. So this has been my go-go drink lately. It's actually YUMMY! Especially when its really cold.

 My Young Adult Group at church has been studying this book for the past few weeks and it is
AH-MAZING!!!!! I just happened to see it on sale for 1.99 on Black Friday @ my local LifeWay Christian Store and so I grabbed a handful for my class not really thinking too much about it. & It is EVERYTHING that our church's Vision is for 2014. WOW! I highly recommend this book as well as David Platt's first book, RADICAL. We havent read it yet, but more than likely we will.

 I've been in my WORD and also planning some great ideas God laid on my heart!! I love when He speaks to me through ideas and creativity!!!!

& My favorite of all,
We celebrated my dad's birthday!!!!
Sadly, I was so hyped that I forgot to take a picture. But I still didnt want to leave this memory out.
I love my dad! He's awesome!!

Well you guys,
I think that sums up everything that has happened so far these past few days!
I look forward to posting soon.

Until then,
lots of hugs & love

Life Target Areas & Goals for 2014

hello, twenty-fourteen.

I've been waiting for you. Glad to finally meet you :)

ha. okay, so it's a new year & I know we're all OVER the whole "new year, new me" schpeel.

 been there. done that. repetitiously.

I'm tired. geesh. I said it. I'm tired of making goals that I either:

1. never reach.

2. never keep.

3. or simply never start.

So instead of trying to give myself a complete life makeover, I've decided to just excel-lent-ify (I think I just made that up! lol) certain areas in my life that I feel God tugging on the most. & It's not to just water down the challenge of reaching goals because honestly, I'm usually pretty good at whatever I set my mind to. But sometimes, I think we all can agree here, we simply set unrealistic goals for ourselves while we neglect the areas that are totally possible to reach and are usually the areas that need the perfecting the most. can I get a A-MAN!? haha.

If you follow me on facebook, (& if you don't, you're more than welcome to), I made a post on new year's eve talking about how I feel that a lot of times we do not reach our pre-planned goals for the new year because our goals simply do not line up with God's plan for us for that year. Ah, yeah I know good point, right? I said the same thing when God laid it on my heart when I, myself, was making goals for twenty-fourteen in my pretty notebook and pink pen. It struck me. hard.  So I tore out the page and sat there; asking God to reveal to me areas in my life where he is ALREADY at work and what can I do to make those areas excellent?

So, we sat, I prayed, and he drew me to 5 specific areas in which I feel my life is truly based around these days. I like to call these my life's "target areas."

my life target areas are:

Body . Mind . Spirit . Ministry . & Everyday Life.

1. Body: Okay, so just like any normal gal, I struggle in this area; probably more than I should. So this year, I really want to work towards making my temple excellent for God and myself. & no, I do not mean 6 pack abs and a muscle booty. I'm talking more about taking care of myself more. LOVING who I am and appreciating the body God graciously created for me. So in this year I want to:

develop a healthy & fit lifestyle.

So that means, getting up and being active more.

& most of all, cutting my terrible, terrible eating habit.

bye bye delicious, calorie filled cupcakes. *sighs*

take more time towards making myself "pretty"

This is by no means conceited. But this is a challenge to actually putting more effort into how I look. Since I started college last year, I've gravitated more towards t-shirts & sweats more than my cute clothes that I spent hard working dollars on. Back in highschool I really took time and effort into how I looked, but college, eh. it is what it is right? lol

wrong.

I can testify that your confidence boosts (in a good, humble way) when you actually look good. However, a lot of my self-esteem dropped when I gained a  bit of extra weight since I was in high school. I mean I went from being a size 7/8 to a 9 and then to like a 10/11. So I limited myself as much as possible from wearing jeans. UGH I hated them and how they made me feel.

But now, I miss them and cute nice fitted shirts.

SO I'm going back to them, and I'm going full force.

I even want to put more effort into my makeup routine. Maybe putting in a few extra dollars for the fancier makeup rather than the cheapest & least products I can find and use lol.

Okay, well Mary Kay isn't all that cheap. BUT it ain't Mac or Sephora. 

So, my point. 

love myself & who God created me to be.

this is simply what the title says itself. I do not have to go into much detail on this one.

I'm going to work towards applauding myself more instead of knocking myself all of the time. I'm not perfect at all, but I'm not all the way bad either. & neither are you!

We must do better ladies. Criticizing ourselves is basically criticizing God to his face about the masterpiece in which He created himself, with his own thoughts, hands, and love.

*sighs*

I'm sorry, Daddy.

2. Mind: So our minds are a very vital part of our lives. We are what we think. Our minds, along with our tongues, are very, very powerful. Therefore, I'm putting my mind in check this year!

start thinking "young adult"

I'm no longer a teenager, so now it is imperative that I must start thinking more towards young adulthood. Everything that I set my mind to  this year and the years to come will be focused around my present but most importantly my future! I'm on track to graduate college next year so I want to make sure that I'm starting to make steps towards making sure everything is together when I officially hit the real, working world.

work more towards establishing myself financially

I already pay my own car payment to my parents, so I have some sort of huge financial responsibility already. & I'm usually pretty good with money. However, right at the end of last year I got myself in a little doozy when it came to spending. I went a little crazy with my money for the first time, and was totally in a bind at the end of the year. Which was my first time in years that I've ever had to watch what I spent super tight. I'm talking about I had $100 to last me for like 3 weeks. Thank God he saw me through! Although my parents have always been there for me financially, I still try my best to not ask them for any money for my personal wants when I work and make my own money. However, I promised that I did not want to ever do that to myself again without having any type of money to back myself up for hard times. I learned my lesson.

So this year:

 I want to start a savings account

& make some type of purchase that allows me to establish my credit.

(the credit is more for when I graduate college and get ready to get my own place and such)

think, act, and speak positivity and life into every situation.

I need to work towards this each and every day. I can be such a scrooge at times.

So, by the grace of God, I'm going to try my best to see and be JESUS in every situation.

choosing him is truly the better part.

choosing jasmine always gets me in trouble.

3. Spirit: This is the most important target of all. If this target isn't developed or work towards, then everything else is irrelevant. I really want this year to revolve around Jesus more than any year has ever. I want to really be used like never before in every area in my life. But I must start with myself first before I can go any further.

I NEED & MUST:

spend SO much more time with God

develop a better, deeper prayer life

find a bible study routine that actually works for me

start paying tithes regularly

4. Ministry:  I desire to be used by God. Point. Blank. Period. But I feel as if I've been half-stepping. Can I be real? Not every day I wake up saying "Okay God, where can I be used for you today?" I mean, that's what I wish I did, but in reality I just wasn't. But this year is different. I want to please God with my life and that means giving him everything I've got. So this year I will strive to:

really put my whole heart into Aspire31 ministry

making sure I'm really seeking God for what he wants me to do for the girls rather what I want to. making sure I'm praying for my girls on a regular. organizing events ahead of time rather than the week of or such. & doing all I can to be a part of my girls lives outside of our events.

blog & write with consistency.

enough said.

volunteer

I want to really put my life to use this year. So I'll be in search of ways that I can be of some type of help to my community.

5. Everyday Life. Last, this is a target that I really want to do just to make everyday life more enjoyable. So with that being said in twenty-fourteen I want to:

organize.

Everything needs to be organized in my life. my room. my car. my school stuff. just everything lol. I struggle sometimes in this area.

send love.

I'm a HUGE giver. I love, love, looooooovvvvve to give. & this year I really want to make the little things count in others lives. So I want to send birthday cards, thank you cards, and little gifts to people who I really appreciate in life. & also even to the ones who I do not even know. I want to share the love of Christ in me to those around me. I want people know that I truly love & care.

enjoy myself & others.

This year I want to have fun, whether it is by myself or with others. I just want to enjoy everyday life. I know not all 365 days are not going to be cupcakes & rainbows, but I'd like to make the most of every single day given. I want to be around smiles, hugs, & laughter.



So there we have it. My target areas & goals for the year! I pray that these are truly in the will of God and he gives me the ability to reach each of these in the days to come! I will definitely keep everyone updated throughout the year on how I'm doing on these goals.

This was me on New Year's Eve getting ready to go to church! 

I wish you all well on your 2014 goals! 

The best is yet to come!!!

lots of hugs & love,







So long, Twenty-Thirteen.

Wow.

I can not believe it is almost the end of the year. ALREADY!

Geesh. Where did the time go? Literally.

However, as I sit here in the midst of worship music, I can not help but reflect what all this year has brought for me. But in order to start to count my all blessings for this year, I must make a quick rewind to 2012; which was the year that prepared me for this one!

Think Twenty-12.

I was a wreck. A messed up, screwed up, lost and confused wreck.

Exactly this time last year, I was in the living room of my pastor and first lady's home balling my eyes out because I honestly felt like I was loosing my mind. I wasn't on the verge anymore, I was already there and I had no idea what to do anymore. I felt the furthest from God that I have ever been, I was confused on who or what I believed anymore. I was depressed and lost without a cause. I was ready to just give up on everything because I could not stand the feeling of despair that I was experiencing. I had lost all control of my heart, it was so hard. I had no feelings whatsoever. & It scared me so much! It was just too much for my 19 year old life at the time.

I felt alone and most of all, misunderstood.

Who on earth could really understand the pain I was experiencing and most of all the attack of the enemy on my mind? (So I felt.) He was trying his hardest to make me give up my call, my purpose, and my destiny that was already ordained by God.

& guess what, I was letting him win the fight.

I know you're thinking, "Girl, you just needed JESUS, that's all!"

Well girlfriend, I knew all of that & some. But it is so much easier said than done when you are right dead smack in the middle of the battlefield of the enemy. I just knew I wanted out. I wanted healing and deliverance more than ever before & I wanted it right then and there.

I just could not understand why God allowed me to go through such a difficult season of my life.

Long story short, God knew exactly what He was doing. It was not a mistake at all.

In fact, it was in His plan from the very beginning. He hadn't forsaken me or left me at all.

He . Was . There .

without a shadow of a doubt.

My . God . Was . There

& He saw, felt, and wiped every tear.

He calmed me at the darkest hour of my life and picked me up and placed me on a path that was about to begin a new journey of my life. He was about to change me.

Forever.

& Then WE headed right into Twenty-13.

MY RIGHT NOW MOMENTS.
...enjoying life one opprotunity at a time...

So if Twenty-13 did not teach me anything else, it taught me my need for God in my life.

& Not just any place. He needed to be number ONE. No where else could he fit.

He was too big, too great, too mighty, powerful, and strong to possibly even try to fit in any second or third best spot. He made it clear that the top spot in my life ultimately belonged to him.

Of course, I "said" yes to that, but in reality I wasn't putting it into action a lot of the times.

But I was learning day by day, and must I say,
I really reaped the benefits slowly but surely.

...So, in the year of twenty-13.. 

I met awesome people and developed wonderful friendships. 

I started a young women's ministry that God placed on my heart many months ago.

I reached my one year and a half mark of being completely single since..forever.
& I learned how to become content and satisfied in Jesus alone. Singleness is a season and I have grown to love it! I've learned how to be single with a purpose and truly use this time to allow God to prepare me for who He wants me to be. I know how to enjoy life by myself.

I committed myself completely back to the Lord and vowed to continue to live a life of purity.

I will not have sex until God gives me the man of my dreams; who he created me for him and him for me. I'm so excited to give the gift of "waiting" to my husband and show him that I submitted to him even before I knew him. But this is more than just abstaining from sex,
its about living a pure live as a whole.
Body, Mind, and Spirit

I started couponing! LOL

& I'm pretty darn good at it! 

Thanks mom for our new addiction habit! LOL :)

I started & finished my sophomore year of college all in ONE semester.

So, now I'm a junior and on track to graduate EARLY!

 Boo-to-tha-YAH!

I was blessed to hold several job titles.

I made it a full year paying MY car payments all by myself by the grace of God!

Meet Zoey! She's my 2009 G-6

We're BFF's lol

I mended relationships & I learned to love others.

My step DAD & I on Christmas. This was my gift to him. Ha!

 This was us on Father's Day. Our relationship has been rocky at times.
But he truly gives me the best.

I love my DAD! He did and does what the other one refuses to do:
remaining present & consistent.

I started reading more. I actually enjoy it!

 

I made time for God in fun places. I learned to be unashamed.

& I discovered my love for white chocolate mochas.
ohmmmmgeeee.
 

I started to commit myself to taking care of my body more! (more on that in twenty-14)

But most of all, I smiled so much more during this year. I learned to truly find contentment in the Lord. He's becoming my everything. I never want to let him go.



Twenty-13 was a year to remember. I had peace and contentment in God.
He restored my mind and my faith.
I'm a much stronger, wiser, softer, and loving Jasmine.

Twenty-14 we are ready for you.

lots of hugs & love